“Tell me about the best manager you ever had,” I often ask participants in my leadership and management trainings. They readily recall vivid examples. “What about the worst?” I ask. Again, examples, but twice as many!

My aim is to tap into the audience’s individual personal memories of the impact good managers have had on them—as well as the impact of poor managers.

I use these “gut memory” recollections to fuel our workshop discussions about what makes a great boss, and what makes a bad one. It becomes obvious to everyone involved that the TASK work of a manager (working long hours, submitting timely reports, etc.) isn’t the stuff that’s carried in the memory of that manager’s employees.

What gets carried in the memory are the RELATIONSHIP-BUILDING habits of that manager. (Or RELATIONSHIP-DESTROYING, as the case may be.) The best managers know how to emphasize the PEOPLE side of management without ignoring the TASK side. How? Here are the six simple rules that always come up:

1. Tell the truth. (I can’t believe I’m saying this in 2017, but all you have to do is watch one newscast about current political leadership to see the chaos and bizarre defenses that result when leaders lie.) When people stop listening to you or stop trusting you, you can’t get anything done.
2. Tell it clearly and kindly. If an employee is coming in late, spreading negativity, etc., say so. Be sure to give specifics—words, actions, times, situations. If you focus on those objective aspects, you won’t have to fall back on vague charges about “attitude”. This is both clear AND kind, and it helps you avoid personal accusations like “You’re always so negative!” or “Your work ethic is terrible!”
3. Be a Multiplier, not a Diminisher. Consultant and author Liz Wiseman describes in her book Multipliers how some managers multiply the intelligence and commitment around them, while others diminish it (often accidentally). It should come as no surprise that employees feel less-than-valued when we managers are constantly unavailable behind a closed door or in front of our screens, when we fail to listen or follow up, or when we take excessive time to respond. That stuff doesn’t make anyone want to give their best.
4. Coach and develop. Rather than seeing employees as possessing fixed amounts of talent, regard them as malleable, capable of improvement. Think of yourself as Talent-Developer-in-Chief. If you’re curious to learn more, take a look at George Odiorne’s “Productivity and Potential” model to see how he depicts every level of employee as able to move up or be moved out.
5. Say “Thank you.” Say it about three times more often than you think you need to, and make it specific so it doesn’t sound phony: “Thanks for doing such as great job calming down that client. That allowed her to get the help she really needed.”
6. Root out the bad apples (please!). Coaching and regular feedback allow you to stay on top of non-performers as well as to develop good performers. Give them second chances, even third ones, but once they move beyond a Performance Improvement Plan without improving, don’t be afraid to let them go—kindly, of course. You won’t believe how morale will soar among your high performers!

None of this is rocket science. We know it. But I would argue that we may  sometimes “know it” only intellectually. So easy! “Knowing it” behaviorally – actually doing these things – is quite a bit harder.

But it does pay off. If you want to see your manager-employee relations noticeably improve, just put these six rules into actual practice. Then watch the results start to show up in better morale, productivity and working relationships.

What tactics do you use to maximize manager-employee relationships?  Join the conversation by adding a comment below.

If you’d like to learn more about training and coaching for leadership, management and workplace communication, please click on our training workshop list or contact us for a free consultation.